Thursday, September 22, 2011

Carl Ibsen

Carl and his mustache spent 17 years running meth for a ruthless biker gang, before he got sick of the long hours, and days on end with out sleep, so on September 22nd 1987 he told the gang to fuck off and got into the poodle breeding business. Then late one night while Carl's mustache was getting it's beauty rest the group stole all of Carl's prize poodles. To get revenge Carl got online and earned his criminal justice degree in just 3 hours. Soon afterward Ibsen's lip rug was elected sheriff of Misoula Wyoming, by amazingly getting every single female vote in the county. He immediately busted the biker gang on drug charges and sent them straight to prison were they are sodomized daily by rival prison gangs.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Clive Owen

Hollywood star Clive Owen has grown an impressive new lip sweater for his role in the movie "Killer Elite" co-starring Robert De Niro. Clive recently stated that his mustache is such a success with the ladies that he had to take self-defense classes to protect his upper lip from the daily molestation it gets from soccer moms and punk rock chicks.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Mustache Journey

I recently returned from a two week sacred retreat deep in the San Juan mountains with spiritual advisor Kapoor Patel to revitalize mind, spirit, and upper lip. He taught that the true essence of the mustache comes from deep within, and no matter the conditioner, wax, or grooming techniques a mustache will not prosper unless it comes from the soul. He also reiterated that a mustache is not a fashion statement, or a tool used to pull tail, but it is a life-style.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Aaron Rodgers New Mustache

It looks like Mr. Rodgers has grown another amazing mustache this preseason, only this specimen is much more masculine than the 2010 version, so much more masculine in fact that the mustache has got it's own Twitter handle, and recently tweeted that it's going to kick Jay Cutler's ass.