Sunday, January 30, 2011

Friday, January 28, 2011

Mustache Fact

In the 1890's celibate catholic priests in Italy were forbidden from wearing mustaches, because they were seen as symbols of sexual prowess.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Rodrigo The Lady Killer

Rodrigo and his mustache spent the 70's selling cheap cocaine, disco dancing, and most likely fucking your mother.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Super Bowl Mustache

My buddy Gary Cole, grew this amazing specimen to commemorate the Green bay Packers going to Super Bowl XLV. I just hope he got some pepper spray to go with that mustache, because every vagina on planet earth will be trying to ride this lip sweater.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Before and After



Before and after mustache photos of my good friend Sleez.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Mustache Predicament


My brother-in-law, who just graduated college, told me with the economy the way it is, he was having trouble finding a job, and he figured a mustache would give him a leg up on the competition. So, he asked me if growing a mustache to look more mature during job interviews was a good idea. I told him growing a mustache strictly for job  interviews could back fire, because a man needs to know and embrace the mustache lifestyle before he starts his upper lip journey, and unless he is ready for lots of free cocktails and tons of middle-aged women hitting on him constantly, then I suggested that wearing glasses should suffice in making him look mature during interviews.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Mustache Poise



A co-worker of mine told me he recently read in the Phoenix New Times, that the mustache is back, but the paper was still on the fence as to whether the sexy masculine 'stache, ala Tom Selleck, is back or if the next generation of lips sweaters are growing them for comedic effect, but I detest the thought that there is anything funny about a mustache. Mustaches are not just for your NASCAR loving uncle anymore, a mustache is a badge of honor, that must be worn with pride and confidence, exuding sex appeal like a women wearing stiletto heels or a push-up bra.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

If I lived in New York...

The city of Ithaca is hosting a chili cook-off & mustache competition, and I can't imagine an event that would bring out more single women.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Nick Kessin


My neighbor Nick used to be a professional cage fighter and night club bouncer until he grew his first mustache and realized he didn't need all that over the top macho bullshit anymore because he had a well groomed mustache. With masculinity firmly in hand, Nick was able to pursue his true passion for nature photography and his mustache now runs the world's foremost natural desert photography website.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Jamie Delaney


Jamie is an amateur magician and used to pull ass regularly by performing magic tricks for the kids of single moms at the Kiwanis Recreation Center, then when the new Black-Ops video game came out Jim was instantly addicted, neglecting his acquired magic skills and staying up for days at a time pounding Mountain Dew and gaming.  After a few months, Jamie became aware of the downward spiral his life was in, and he came to me for advice. Of course I gave him the same advice I give everyone, grow a mustache, and take your new lip sweater out to a local winery. Jamie took my advice and is now getting more action than he ever could with some stupid magic trick.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Mustache Q&A

Another question from a reckless Mustache Revival reader who wishes to remain anonymous...

Dear Mustache Revival,
I have had a mustache for several years and for New Year's Eve I decided to shake things up a little and I shaved off my mustache. As soon as my long time girlfriend saw my bare upper lip she broke it off and moved out. She is the love of my life, what should I do?
Desperate in Detroit.

Well, first off you have no one to blame but yourself, and I don't know what kind of results you were expecting from such an audacious move as shaving your upper lip, but my advice is to immediately grow back your lip sweater and purchase an engagement ring and propose, because she sounds like a keeper who is obviously more committed to the mustache lifestyle than you are. Good luck, and as always your mustache questions can be submitted to mustacherevival@gmail.com.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

A Mustache's Resolution

Yesterday as my wife tortured me by making me take down the Christmas tree and all the other ridiculous paraphernalia it dawned on me that my prosperous lip sweater does not buy the highest quality presents for the ones I love. I am always getting predictable gifts, like this Christmas I bought my wife shoes, a facial, etc. very typical stuff and she got me a custom printed Mustache Revival t-shirt, and it is the most amazing work of art I have ever laid eyes on, like the Mona Lisa of cotton. So, anyway my resolution for this year is to put more thought into the gifts I buy and really put some smiles on people's faces, not the usual awkward thanks with no eye contact, and not only for this year, but for the rest of my gift giving life.