Sinbad

I won't lie, the mustache went through a tumultuous time in the early 90's, but Sinbad always kept the mustache classy, even during the dark ages of the upper lip. Sinbad truly made his mustache his most prominent feature, especially since it was usually accessorized with an obnoxious shirt and ridiculous flat top. During this time when most mustache were scoring some sloppy bitches, Sinbad still managed to pull fine dime pieces. Then in the mid 90's Sinbad unexpectedly switched to the trendy goatee. Almost immediately afterwards Sinbad developed some massive bitch tits and hasn't landed a major acting roll since.

Most Glorious Day in TV Guide History

January 2nd, 1982. The most glorious day in TV Guide history.

Suicidal Stache

I guess this is funny if you are on meth, but I just think it's direspectful to the mustache.

Sailor Jerry

Sailor Jerry, Godfather of the traditional American tattoo, and street certified bad ass who tattooed thousands of soldiers during WWII in the infamous Chinatown section of the port city Honolulu, Hawaii. Jerry not only inked the shit out of drunk sailors, but played saxophone in a dance band, was the keeper of a dangerous mustache, and get this, was actually a sailor.

Totally Rad 80's Stache

Portable tape deck? Check. Duran Duran t-shirt? Check. Sweet mustache? Check. Now let's go get some serious pussy!

Duane "Scruffy" McDonald

This is my Uncle Scruffy, who has been rocking the customary outdoorsman mustache and beer gut for as long as I can remember. This mustache holds a wealth of knowledge, like some of the best trout fishing spots in Northern Wisconsin. I just hope I get a chance to squeeze some of the wisdom out of this stache before it dies from obesity and is gone forever.

Monday Night Raw Mustache

Koko B. Ware and his mustache enjoyed mainstream success with the WWF in the late 80's, traveling the world, seducing ladies, and shooting up steroids. But that all came to an abrupt end in 1992 when Koko shaved his upper lip. Soon after his wife left him, he filed for bankruptcy, and got fired from the WWF. I just hope we can all learn a lesson from Koko's mistake.

The Convict Mustache

I am sorry to report that not all mustaches are wonderful and glorious, some mustaches are evil and sinister. One of those such mustaches is the 'convict mustache,' probably the second most hated mustache in history only behind the Hitler stache. The above example was most likely caught running moonshine or beating his wife. I will go with the former because I choose to believe that no woman on earth is crazy enough to legally bind herself to that mustache.

Devastatin' Dave, The Turntable Slave!

There is really nothing I can add to this, so please just enjoy this picture and all it's glory.

Jack White

Recognized as the front man for The Whites Stripes, Jack White is also the first American citizen to give a redhead women a mustache ride while in a boat on the Amazon river.