A mustache will increase your chances with the opposite sex by 67%.
A mustache will enhance your stamina by at least 12 minutes.
A mustache will boost your bench press by at least 90 lbs.
A mustache will raise your car's gas mileage by at least 3 MPG.
A mustache will make you immune to the swine flu, and all STD's.
A mustache will cut the time it takes to mow your lawn down by 42%.
A mustache will increase your accuracy with a hunting rifle by 57%.
A mustache will slash the time it takes you to chug a beer by 86%.
A mustache will prevent you from getting cavities.
A mustache will lower your cholesterol by 29%.
Is it possible it increases the "size" of a man?
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