Johnny F.

My long time friend Johnny recently moved to Portland, and called me a couple weeks ago to complain that he was having trouble meeting new people and was sick of sitting at home by himself listening to Jean-Baptiste Sully on Friday nights. So I gave him the same advice I give to everyone, grow a mustache. Then last Saturday at 2 in the morning I woke up to my phone ringing, I reluctantly answered, and it was Johnny calling me to thank me for the great advice. He said after growing the mustache he had the confidence to go down to his local brew pub to catch a Slaid Cleaves show. When the door man saw Johnny's mustache he let him in for free, once inside the show a cute brunette approached him and bought him a Blue Moon, then another, and another, and another. Next thing he knew they were back at her place and she was sitting on his mustache spinning in circles talking about love and marriage. Johnny said he just had to call and tell me that he didn't know how a few whiskers could change a man's life, but he is now a believer.