Mustache Q&A

I recently received an email from a faithful Mustache Revival reader, who wished to remain anonymous, about his upper lip dilemma, he wrote...

Mustache Revival,
I recently grew a new mustache for Movember, and even though I am enjoying my new lifestyle, my girlfriend told me she prefers my mustache with the full goatee. Although I prefer just the mustache, I need to keep her happy, and I just have to know if the mustache goatee combination is acceptable?
Thanks,
Troubled in Toronto.

Toronto,
According the 'The Mustache Code of Conduct Handbook,' the mustache goatee combo is in direct violation of rule number 263. Plus what about the goatee does your girlfriend find attractive? It sounds like she is still living in 1998, listening to Limp Bizkit and wearing those boot cut jeans that are faded and already have rips and tears in them when you buy them. If she can't appreciate or respect your mustache for what it is, then I suggest that you wax up your nose neighbor and head on down to your local brew pub to find the girl of your dreams that will recognize what your upper lip sweater is, which is a badge of honor representing all things masculine and tough. A mustache always provides for his family by putting food on the table and spending quality time with the one's it loves, a mustache never forgets an anniversary or child's birthday, and will defend it's honor to the death. So in other words no.