Dr. Phil

Not only has this son of a bitch been giving mustaches world wide a bad name, but he is also confusing women about the masculinity a lip sweater represents, and it's also important to note that Dr. Phil is not a real doctor in the MD sense. He is essentially some guy that just got a PhD and decided to put 'Dr.' in front of his name. Pretentiousness has a prefix, and that is 'Dr.' This guy's mustache has let his ego get out of control and he must be stopped, or else the prestige that is a mustache will be marred forever.