Mike Ditka

Iron Mike is widely known as the old school, no non-sense football coach, and many women consider him the Greek god of upper lip hair, but this post is about his rarely documented, but highly controversial mustache grooming techniques. His techniques are considered unique by his admirers and bizarre by his adversaries. It is the sole reason for his divorce from his first wife, and Mike went to great lengths to keep his grooming procedures a secret for fear that it might tarnish his tough guy image.


It all started in 1986, the year The Chicago Bears won Super Bowl XX, and Mike frequently went to Asian massage parlors for 'legitimate' massages. When one day Mike was offered a lip sweater trim by an underage Asian girl in pigtails. After that first mustache trim the Bears went on to win 7 of their next 8 games including a Super Bowl victory. 'Da Coach' is a very superstitious man and truly believed that his great mustache trim was the reason for the bears winning streak. So to this day Mike only gets his mustache trimmed by underage Asian girls in pigtails, ID required ladies.