Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday

Although the Boston Bruins have been eliminated from the NHL Playoffs, I just came across this photo of an underage fan begging Shawn Thornton for a mustache ride.

Anthony De Luca

Tony and his nose neighbor made the rounds on the amateur boxing scene in the mid 70's knocking fools out and seducing women until he got a career ending hang nail during a bare-knuckle fight with Eddie "The Brawler" Bernstein. No longer able to fight Anthony put his full effort in to his mustache grooming techniques and along the way he discovered that Italian women absolutely cannot resist the power of his stache and hasn't paid for a bowl of pasta in over 22 years.

Mark Majkowski

Mark spent the early years of his life living in Northwest Montana with his lumberjack parents who taught him to live off the land. At age 14 mark jumped on the back of a logging truck and rode it 1,329 miles into the heart of the Tonto National Forest where he stumbled upon an isolated tribe of hostile Apaches who taught him the ancient warrior art of basket weaving. With his new found skills Mark set off hitch hiking where he eventually settled in the valley of the sun where he sells his amazing baskets outside casinos and strip clubs.

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday

Mustache Strikes Again!

The picture above is a random mustache picture I found on Google Images, and used in a post about mustache responsibility. I assumed the pic was several years old, but last weekend Mustache Revivalist Sideburns Jackson was in Las Vegas for Punk Rock Bowling 2010, and look who he ran into.

Turns out this is Alex Antebi, and the picture is only 3 years old from when he won 1st place for Imperial Moustache at the 2007 World beard & Moustache Competition. At the time Alex was only 26 years old making him the youngest and first American champion in history.

Robbie Lowell

This is Robbie Lowell my friend/neighbor, to pay the bills he does tattoos out of his garage, drinks at least 16 Pabst Blue Ribbon's a day to keep his mustache hydrated, and loves earrings, obviously.

Monday Night Raw Mustache

Mean Gene Okerlund started working for the WWF in 1984 as a bare lipped virgin. After getting to know Hulk Hogan and gaining his pity, Hulk took Mean Gene under his wing and being the mustache advocate he is, promised "If you grow a mustache I'll give you my leftovers." Since that day 26 years ago Gene has not shaved his upper lip, and still uses it to "clean up" Hulk Hogan's scraps.

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday (on a Monday morning)

This One is for Gurt Lamberstein, because these two fine specimens are on their way to a Mets game for Keith Hernandez Mustache Day (seriously).

Ralph McNeil

Good 'ol Ralph lives across the street from my brother in-law Gurt, and not so long ago Ralph's marriage was on the skids and his wife was threatening divorce. They tried everything from giving each other their space to seeing a marriage counselor, and nothing was working, so as a last effort Ralph grew a mustache, and now the couple is happily in love and Ralph reports their sex life is better than ever.

Upper Lip Exception

Everyone knows that 99.99% of mustaches are masculine and not to be fucked with, but not always, and hey why should women be the only ones who get to feel luscious whiskers of a mustache on their genitals?

Monday Night Raw Mustache

During wrestling's heyday of steroids, Quaaludes, and mustaches Big Bully Busick, while feeling no pain after washing down a handful of Quaaludes with straight vodka, once gave a 300 + pound woman a 97 minute mustache ride. A record that has never been challenged to this very day!

"Filthy" Tom Lawlor

It appears that Tom Lawlor showed up to his UFC 113 weigh-in dressed up as Dan Severn, with the sweet mustache and all. This pretty much guarantees him a victory tomorrow in the cage and in the bedroom.

Kareem Says

"A well groomed mustache gets a white bitch every time." - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday

Amazing yet dignified mustaches of the 19th century.

Tony Clifton

Tony Clifton's lip sweater is a legendary Las Vegas lounge singer and womanizer. Tony used to do shows at the world famous Tropicana, until one night before a show Tony and his nose neighbor drank 6 quarts of whiskey, ate 27 Quaaludes, and pounded 13 lines of coke. Once on stage Tony challenged any female in the crowd to a mustache ride. The next day the hotel was sued by 13 of the women's husbands, Tony was fired, and The Tropicana filed for bankruptcy.

Mustache Revivalist Sir Jules Winfield found this amazing shirt at Strange Cargo, and not only does the shirt pay homage to the great mustached coaches of Chicago, but this shirt is also guaranteed to get Jules laid at every Chicago sports bar for the rest of his life.