Last night I had a dream about a beautiful angel, only to wake up in the middle of the night, and find that angel sitting on my bed post. Although I was startled, I wasn't afraid of this mystical being, and I felt calm and compelled when he lead me to the Northwest corner of my backyard and told me to start digging. After my shovel had cleared several feet of Earth from the sacred spot I discovered an old wooden box. When I pulled the small chest from the dirt I opened it to find a magnificent gold plate inside. The plate was inscribed with some ancient dead language that no man could decipher, but when this angel touched my left shoulder, I could suddenly understand every word on the golden plate. It said "It is your destiny to grow beautiful mutton chops & a masculine mustache to save mankind." Right then and there I fell to my knees, looked up to the angel, and he was gone, along with the old wooden box, and gold plate. They had all vanished into thin air as if nothing had ever happened, but I know this angel was sent to me by the mustache gods, and now I must complete my divine mustache quest.
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