Mustache Update

After weeks of follicle struggle my upper lip is finally starting to get a taste of the good life. While the stache won't get me casted in a retro porn anytime soon, a man has to start somewhere. However it is still awfully embarrassing when your son's upper lip has more street cred than your own and he's not even 2 years old.

Honorable Mention

While they might not be an actual mustache, revivalist xdeathtrip01, is sporting some impressive facial hair. Not only are these beautiful chops, but you get a chance to see them in their natural blue collar environment, the factory. These chops not only got him lucky with 4 randoms at the bar last week, but also scored him a great deal on some sticky icky. These burns deserve more than to be tucked away in the corner of some warehouse, they should be singing lead vocals in a rockabilly band. The only things that could add more bravado to these chops would be a sleeveless western shirt and of course a mustache.

The Great Mr. Buttersworth

"I hope my stache becomes the mustache it can be!"

This particular mustache has a special place in my heart because of the obstacles he has over come to achieve upper lip liberation.

As a young man Buttersworth always dreamed of having a long luscious handle bar mustache, then as his upper lip was coming into manhood an incident happened way back in 1999, when Buttersworth was innocently walking by a burning house and all of a sudden he heard children screaming out of a second story window. So without hesitation he ran into the burning house to save the children, and in doing so he suffered 2nd degree burns over 90% of his upper lip. Even though the small Lithuanian town now holds an annual parade in his honor he has never been able to sprout lip pubes through the scar tissue. Until recently his lip has come back to life and ladies and gentleman he is back on track to growing that handle bar stache that he dreamed of as a boy.

Look Who's Testing Out A New Mustache.

It seems the confidence of a dominating victory over the Dallas Cowboys has went straight to the head, or should I say upper lip of Aaron Rogers. After the decisive victory over the Cowboys Rodgers has emerged with a brand new lip mane.
Is it a sign of good things to come? I wouldn't be too sure of that since this is not the first time Rodgers has let his upper lip go freestyle. Some of you may remember in August 2008 at Packers mini camp Rodgers tried out the 'friendly mutton chops' and last season was a complete disaster, so only time will tell if his new patch of upper lip pubes can lead the Packers to a winning season. One thing we do know for sure is that the city of Green Bay better be stocked up on condoms, because Aaron Rodgers mustache is on the loose.

Ozzie

Osborne Earl "Ozzie" Smith, back flip enthusiast and long time mustache devotee. Ozzie was also a professional baseball player who was a 15 time all-star, and won the golden glove award for 13 consecutive seasons at shortstop. Smith also hit the game winning home run in game 5 of the 1985 NLCS, prompting Jack Buck's now famous line "Go crazy folks!" Alright enough of the on field achievement crap, Ozzie's lip sweater was so notorious with the ladies of St. Louis that in ensued a 1996 divorce, but how could it not? That stache just screams, "You can trust me with your girlfriend, it's cool." and we all know how that story ends.

Poll Results

The polls have closed, and you have decided... Muhammad Ali's mustache is a little bitch. OK maybe it wasn't that bad, but almost universally you decided that Ali's mustache would stand no chance against Dan Severn's Mustache. I don't know if it's the unstoppable take downs of Severn's stache, but the results are overwhelming.

80% Dan Severn

20% Muhammad Ali

Fashionable Mustache Comb

It was love at first sight. The initial second I laid eyes on this beauty I new it was an accessory straight from the heavens, no not one of those stupid rosary's that everyone seems to be wearing these days, I am talking about one of the greatest inventions of the 21st century, the mustache comb necklace! Yes, that's right I'm talking about the most fashionable and functional piece of jewelery ever made. I'm not a guy that wears jewelery, but I can just imagine my western shirt unbuttoned to my navel, and this sterling silver beauty around my neck hanging down between my rock hard pectorals. OK, so it would just get stuck in my chest hair, but a man has to dream.
And now the bad news, the price tag on this thing is $168. Some people say you can't put a price on fine art, but unfortunately my wife can, so I will never own one of these precious combs.

Lil Nacho

I think this mustache is real, and I think his mom is the women with the lady stache from Monday's post. Either way I bet this kid could take Andre The Giant in a steel cage match.

Revival Shirt

The other day I made a pitiful attempt to make a totally sweet custom mustache revival shirt, but what I ended up with was a cheap, pathetic, disgraceful imitation of an awesome revival shirt. Maybe next time I will not buy the cheapest thing I can find, but since I have a mortgage and a family to feed I'm going to have to rock this shirt as hard as I can for now. A fashion designer I am not, but a loyal revivalist I am!

Re: Holiday Mustache Challenge 2

It's not much of a stache, but Buttersworth needs some competition, so this pathetic patch of lip pubes is officially in the contest for the holiday mustache challenge 2009.