Carl Ibsen

Carl and his mustache spent 17 years running meth for a ruthless biker gang, before he got sick of the long hours, and days on end with out sleep, so on September 22nd 1987 he told the gang to fuck off and got into the poodle breeding business. Then late one night while Carl's mustache was getting it's beauty rest the group stole all of Carl's prize poodles. To get revenge Carl got online and earned his criminal justice degree in just 3 hours. Soon afterward Ibsen's lip rug was elected sheriff of Misoula Wyoming, by amazingly getting every single female vote in the county. He immediately busted the biker gang on drug charges and sent them straight to prison were they are sodomized daily by rival prison gangs.

Crazy Randy

I came across this picture the other day when I was helping a friend move. He said it's a picture of his uncle, Randy, from 1971 when he was a certified bad ass running cheap meth for the Hells Angels, before he went to prison and converted to Islam. Once out of prison Randy went on to invent a Muslim prayer carpet laced with Teflon, making it the worlds most durable and easy to clean prayer pad, and quickly became a favorite of insurgents around the world.