Stan Davis

Stan spent the late 70's dominating the Southern Indiana Semi-Professional Bowling League, while his lip rug cleaned up on all the slutty single mother types that hang around bowling alley's. Life was good, Stan had a double wide trailer with custom green shag carpet, and a Jeep Wrangler, that ran most of the time, but in 1982 Stan gave all that up to pursue his true passion of converting new Bolivian immigrants to atheism.

Mustache Fact

In the 1890's celibate catholic priests in Italy were forbidden from wearing mustaches, because they were seen as symbols of sexual prowess.

Walter Brimley Sets Guinness World Record

Most of you probably thought Walter Brimley was dead, but you are wrong. Walter came out of his Salt Lake City nursing home today to set the new world record for most diabetic Mormon mustache rides in a 24 hour period with 3, smashing the old record of 1.

Rev. Terry Jones

Inbred, bat shit crazy, religious fanatic, intolerant, racist mustache. This guy makes organized religion, Americans, and most importantly the mustache community look bad.

Dan 'The Beast' Severn

All through out high school Dan had a steady girlfriend and a mustache, and the day before graduation Dan made the reckless move of shaving his upper lip. Once his girlfriend saw his bare lip she instantly broke it off. With his heart broken and depression setting in Dan decided to go on a spiritual journey where he ended up in Tibet living with Buddhist Monks learning the ancient martial art of Lama Pai. After several years with the monks Dan realized that religion is bull shit and the true path to salvation lies in a mustache. So Dan grew back his trusted nose neighbor and headed back to the states, where he started a career in mixed martial arts. Dan went 44-0 and eventually became the UFC heavyweight champion, before he gave that all up to do underground bare knuckle fighting, because "that UFC shit is for pussies."