Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Alan Selcher spent the fist 19 years of his life bare lipped, eating Cheetos, and masturbating. Sick of never having felt the "touch of a women", Alan tried wearing cologne. After 2 months Alan was still a virgin, so he tried a new wardrobe, and after a month of rocking his fresh new attire Alan was still a virgin, so finally Alan grew a mustache. Within minutes of growing a mustache Alan developed a bravado and swagger he only dreamed of, before he knew it Alan got a job wrestling alligators, and he now bangs just about every female tourist who goes through GatorLand.