Thursday, January 28, 2010

This is an impressive random mustache I saw out last Saturday night at Four Peaks Brewery. I approached the man to ask him his opinion on the current state of the mustache, and I think he drank too much pale ale, as he almost threw up on me, so I said fuck the questions, and got far away from this dude.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Mustache Competition Announcement

Republic Tequila has announced a "Grow one for the republic" mustache competition, where the winner will get a trip for 2 to any destination in Texas valued up to $1,000.

"Mustaches and tequila have long been a part of Texas history. Think about it, all the good cowboys have mustaches, and they all drink tequila. It only makes sense to celebrate these things together."

To enter submit your best mustache picture, name, email address, date of birth, city and state to Must be 21 to enter.

"You call that a mustache? Shit, kid. My wife's got that thing beat."

Friday, January 22, 2010

Twinkle Toes Alvarado

Don't let the cowboy hat and belt buckle fool you this mustache was the Southern California Break Dance Battle champion for 3 years straight from 1988 - 1991 dominating the competition with his signature move 'the coin drop.' This mustache is also known to cruise his Harley around the ASU campus looking for foreign exchange students who are eager for an American mustache ride, but this mustache prides itself on the fact that it plays lead tuba in the local ranchero band 'los palomas locos.'

Monday, January 18, 2010

Heavy Metal Mustache

This mustache sings lead vocals for iconic metal band Metallica, and has sold over 100 million albums worldwide. This mustache has also sealed the deal with more women wearing black lipstick than any other mustache in history, and has protected it's owner from getting STD's from disgusting goth chicks for over 29 years. Needless to say this mustache has paid it's dues, and is still going strong.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Big Sleez

Big Sleez is a hard working company man who decided he no longer wanted to go on living with out the benefits of having a mustache. Although he has just started his foray in the mustached world he is already reaping the benefits, as he got 2 free tacos this morning at Filaberto's, and got flashed by a car load of college girls on his way home from work last night. Keep up the good work Sleez, and keep the Mustache Revival updated on your progress and new found glories of having a mustache.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Is this mustache real or fake? You be the judge.

Holiday Mustache Challenge

After much discussion and debate the winner of the 1st Annual Mustache Revival Holiday Mustache Challenge is...
Mr. Buttersworth, not only is this stache prolific, but the length and commitment are amazing. Buttersworth reports that during his tenure as a mustached man he has had to turn away over 100 middle-aged ladies that have begged for a ride on this masculine specimen.
Congratulations Mr. Buttersworth!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Sir Sean Connery

This mustache spent 21 years womanizing as James Bond, and was named Sexiest Man Alive in 1989 by People Magazine strictly because of the mustache. Although these are great mustache achievements they pale in comparison to the highlight of his mustached career. On July 5th 2000 Sean's mustache was knighted by England's Queen Elizabeth, and Sean noticed all through the ceremony she was staring passionately at his mustache, so after a few glasses of Dom Perignon Sean invited her for a royal mustache ride, and several witnesses have come forward stating that you could hear the Queen's screams of ecstasy all through the royal palace, but during the epic mustache ride the Queen severely injured her hip, and is confined to a wheelchair to this day. Great bloody job Sean!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Charles Bronson

This gun slinging mustache was made famous with tough guy roles in movies such as, The Magnificent Seven, The Dirty Dozen, and Death Wish, but what many people don't know is that this mustache has a purple heart for injuries sustained while serving as an aerial gunmen in World War II. While in a hospital in Guam recovering from his war wounds he banged every nurse in the entire 260 room hospital, and soon after every other patient in the hospital grew a mustache hoping to steal a little action, but Charles didn't care, he just took his mustache out to the streets of Guam to show the local ladies what a real American mustache can do. Supposedly what that mustache did was impregnate 20 - 30 locals, and then when the war was over Charles went back to America, married his high school sweet heart, moved to Hollywood, and left his bastard children to live an impoverished life in a third world country without a father.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Don Frye Retires His Legendary Mustache

You might want to turn the volume down, the video is great, but the soundtrack is unbearable.

Carl Weathers

Carl Weathers, better known as Apollo Creed, is popular as a former professional football player and actor. Carl is also a great example of what a mustache can achieve with a little help from steroids. In the early 70's when nearly every NFL player was using the juice, Carl became notorious in the locker room for shooting up steroids directly in the upper lip. Though this technique is considered controversial, the results are undeniable. Carl's upper lip follicles became so strong that he simultaneously gave 3 Oakland Raiders cheerleaders a pre-game mustache ride just to intimidate the opposing team. This mustache may not be all natural, but it is still very impressive.