Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Every upper lip connoisseur knows that owning a masculine lip sweater is no easy task. Not only is grooming paramount, but style is also pertinent, and you must choose your personal style carefully. If you are the CEO of a fortune 500 company, a Selleck is mandatory. If you are a cowboy riding the range, or a bouncer at a nightclub then the manly fu-manchu is appropriate, and if you are a 6'6", 90 pound circus juggler and amateur pyro-technician, then you gotta go for the handlebar mustache because no one is taking you seriously anyway.
Monday, September 20, 2010
I met Roger on a recent fishing trip in the White Mountains. He told me he was a long haul trucker, who escorted NASCAR great Jeff Gordon around the country for 11 years, before he was fired out of jealousy, because his mustache pulled more tail than Gordon. Roger's next career move was hauling loads for the Barnum-Bailey Circus, where he met the love of his life, The Bearded Lady. The two were married 3 days later, and as they were taking off for their honeymoon Roger backed his 18 wheeler over her, grinding her whiskers into the pavement and killing her. Roger said he and his mustache now live up in the mountains, isolated, and living off the land for fear of ever hurting the ones they love again.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Since The Mustache Revival is turning one year old in October I thought it was only appropriate that I throw a mustache party, so on Saturday October 2nd 2010 at 6:00 pm pacific time, I will be having a mustache party at my house (Queen Creek, AZ). There will be free beer and fake mustaches for the upper lip impaired. If you need directions email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The saddest story in mustache history is the mustache that H.W. couldn't grow. It marred his life by making him a manic depressive alcoholic, and robbed him of the place in history he should have had as a heroic World War II pilot.
A police department in India's Madhya Pradesh province is making a smart investment by paying their police officers 30 rupees ($0.66) a month to grow a nose neighbor because "a mustache commands respect," obviously.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
This is Chacho de la Grande a famous Mexican Porn star, and my friend recently ran into him after a long night partying in Tijuana. He said the ladies couldn't keep their hands off his hair and upper lip, double trouble!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I often see Matt at the local farmers market, where he sells avocado's and homemade baguettes, and last Saturday morning I had to ask him about the inspiration behind his incredible mustache. He told me for many years he rocked a beard, and was only semi-successful with the ladies, then about 7 months ago, with the advice of a stripper, he grew this wonderful handlebar mustache, and he says now his phone won't stop ringing on Friday nights from drunk ladies begging for mustache rides, and he sent me this photographic evidence.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Upon first glimpse of this mustache, President Obama felt the uncontrollable urge to massage this random guy's back. Although this looks strange and uncomfortable, it is quite common, and women do this to me every time I take my mustache out for a few pints.
Rob Eckert grew up in Northwestern Idaho with an alcoholic Lumberjack father, and a chain smoking mother. As a young man Rob and his mustache learned the tricks of the logging trade before they were drafted and did 3 tours in Vietnam. During his last week in Nam Rob wondered away from his base in search of some of the killer marijuana that grows wild in the mountains of Vietnam. On his journey Rob clipped a land mine, and lost 8 toes. Unable to walk, Rob lie on the jungle floor for 3 days, surviving only on the water that collected on his lip sweater from the morning dew, before he was found.