Monday, September 27, 2010

Michael Irvin

Michael Irvin has put this mustache through years of neglect and punishment, but his faithful nose neighbor has never let him down. Irvin started the mistreatment back in 1996 with a cocaine possession arrest, then again later in 1996 with a sexual assault allegation. They headed back to jail in 1998 for battery and assault on former team mate Everrett McIver. Irvin and his mustache some how managed to stay out of the slammer until 2005, when he was busted for possession of a crack pipe, marijuana, and plastic bags, and finally Michael and his lip sweater were behind bars for the last time in 2007 with another sexual assault allegation that was settled out of court by Irvin for a supposed 6 figure pay-off. Despite all these set backs Irvin's mustache has managed to keep his marriage intact, got him into the NFL hall of fame, and got him a cozy on camera gig at the NFL Network.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday


I think so!

Mustache Etiquette

Every upper lip connoisseur knows that owning a masculine lip sweater is no easy task. Not only is grooming paramount, but style is also pertinent, and you must choose your personal style carefully. If you are the CEO of a fortune 500 company, a Selleck is mandatory. If you are a cowboy riding the range, or a bouncer at a nightclub then the manly fu-manchu is appropriate, and if you are a 6'6", 90 pound circus juggler and amateur pyro-technician, then you gotta go for the handlebar mustache because no one is taking you seriously anyway.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Roger Snow

I met Roger on a recent fishing trip in the White Mountains. He told me he was a long haul trucker, who escorted NASCAR great Jeff Gordon around the country for 11 years, before he was fired out of jealousy, because his mustache pulled more tail than Gordon. Roger's next career move was hauling loads for the Barnum-Bailey Circus, where he met the love of his life, The Bearded Lady. The two were married 3 days later, and as they were taking off for their honeymoon Roger backed his 18 wheeler over her, grinding her whiskers into the pavement and killing her. Roger said he and his mustache now live up in the mountains, isolated, and living off the land for fear of ever hurting the ones they love again.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Mustache Party!

Since The Mustache Revival is turning one year old in October I thought it was only appropriate that I throw a mustache party, so on Saturday October 2nd 2010 at 6:00 pm pacific time, I will be having a mustache party at my house (Queen Creek, AZ). There will be free beer and fake mustaches for the upper lip impaired. If you need directions email me at
It appears the famous nipple mustache has been out done by this amazing specimen.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

George H.W. Bush

The saddest story in mustache history is the mustache that H.W. couldn't grow. It marred his life by making him a manic depressive alcoholic, and robbed him of the place in history he should have had as a heroic World War II pilot.

Indian Police Given Mustache Pay

A police department in India's Madhya Pradesh province is making a smart investment by paying their police officers 30 rupees ($0.66) a month to grow a nose neighbor because "a mustache commands respect," obviously.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Brick Head 3

Located inside Davlan Park in Indianapolis, and upgraded with a beautiful yarn mustache.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Upper Lip Inspiration

These upper lip pioneers fuel my aspirations for follicle greatness.
Matt Gioia
Gary Cole

Gabriel Quintana

Long Live The Mustache!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Chacho de la Grande

This is Chacho de la Grande a famous Mexican Porn star, and my friend recently ran into him after a long night partying in Tijuana. He said the ladies couldn't keep their hands off his hair and upper lip, double trouble!

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Matt Copeland: Successful Hipster Mustache

I often see Matt at the local farmers market, where he sells avocado's and homemade baguettes, and last Saturday morning I had to ask him about the inspiration behind his incredible mustache. He told me for many years he rocked a beard, and was only semi-successful with the ladies, then about 7 months ago, with the advice of a stripper, he grew this wonderful handlebar mustache, and he says now his phone won't stop ringing on Friday nights from drunk ladies begging for mustache rides, and he sent me this photographic evidence.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Upon first glimpse of this mustache, President Obama felt the uncontrollable urge to massage this random guy's back. Although this looks strange and uncomfortable, it is quite common, and women do this to me every time I take my mustache out for a few pints.

Rev. Terry Jones

Inbred, bat shit crazy, religious fanatic, intolerant, racist mustache. This guy makes organized religion, Americans, and most importantly the mustache community look bad.

My Mustache Saved My Life

Rob Eckert grew up in Northwestern Idaho with an alcoholic Lumberjack father, and a chain smoking mother. As a young man Rob and his mustache learned the tricks of the logging trade before they were drafted and did 3 tours in Vietnam. During his last week in Nam Rob wondered away from his base in search of some of the killer marijuana that grows wild in the mountains of Vietnam. On his journey Rob clipped a land mine, and lost 8 toes. Unable to walk, Rob lie on the jungle floor for 3 days, surviving only on the water that collected on his lip sweater from the morning dew, before he was found.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Genghis Khan

Genghis Khan the first mustache in history to give over 200,000 women a mustache ride, but definitely not the last.