Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Spring Break Mustache

Although my brother in-law graduated from college last semester he still couldn't resist packing his favorite luchador mask and taking his mustache to Lake Havasau for some spring break debauchery.
This got me thinking about how his mustache is the ideal spring break mustache, his mustache can do a solo keg stand (as seen above), he is the guy who can fix a busted keg tapper with a stick of chewing gum and a paper clip, and his 'stache can also debate intermolecular force theory while doing consecutive beer bongs, making it the ideal saddle for any drunken spring break dame.

Friday, March 25, 2011

John Axford

Just over a year ago John Axford was out of baseball, after being cut by the New York Yankees John went on a 2 week drinking binge, locking himself in his parents basement with nothing but a few cases of Miller Lite and his Xbox 360. Then one night while passed out John had a dream where the mustache god's came to him and made him an offer he couldn't refuse. If he would grow a sweet 'stache the god's would grant him a lighting bolt for an arm. When John woke up the next morning he vowed to never again shave his upper lip, and the next thing he knew the Milwaukee Brewers were knocking on his door. With his amazing new lip sweater and brand new gig as the Brewers closing pitcher John was soon getting more pussy than Ron Jeremy, and he credits his mustache for all his success on the field and in the bedroom.

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Oh Yeah, Happy St. Patricks Day

If you are ever in Prescott Arizona this pub is a must.

Fashionable and Functional

Foremost, I need to apologize for the picture quality, but it was taken with my phone after I had been drinking pints in the hot desert sun all day, and the picture doesn't do justice to the energy that radiates off this thing. Not only not does this amazing specimen get him laid despite morbid obesity, but it is also serves as a "tooth wig" completely concealing the fact that he is missing a front tooth. Ladies!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Crazy Cat Lady Loves Mustache Rides (and beef jerky)

So, there is a creepy eccentric old widow that lives at the end of my block, you know the type that puts out way too many decorations for every holiday, and has about 8 cats. Well, one day last week my brother in-law was over helping me trim my palm trees, when one of Mrs. Litterbox's cats fell down the storm drain on my street, without hesitation my brother's mustache jumped into action and retrieved the scared little kitten from it's underground prison. Cat lady was so thankful that she insisted she somehow pay my brother in-law back. After some coercion, she managed to get him insider her house, which he reported was stocked full of cat food and beef jerky, and smelled of week old cat shit. Once inside she told him she just couldn't resist a heroic mustache and threw herself at him. With a few moves that would make Kobe Bryant proud, he was able to make it out of cat hell unscathed, but now every time he drives by her house she points to her upper lip, and thrusts her pelvis vigorously, just to let him know that some day she will get that elusive mustache ride.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Celebrity Mustache Fetish

Bong rips of Salvia, underage drinking, and a mustache fetish, Miley Cyrus is a special girl.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Friendly Reminder

This is just a friendly reminder to all mustached men that keeping your nose hair trimmed is of paramount importance, especially since your glorious mustache is drawing so much attention to that area.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

New York Baseball's Heyday

Forget Mickey Mantle, or Babe Ruth, this was New York baseball's heyday.