Although is has been scientifically proven that a mustache will increase your bench press by 32%, and improve your chances with the opposite sex by 67%, a mustache cannot cure halitosis. I recently learned this truth the hard way on a 4 hour flight from Charlotte to Phoenix, and the gentlemen seated to my left was polite as can be, but suffered from chronic bad breath. I believe he was well aware of his condition and in an attempt to cure his condition, he grew a bushy mustache to act as a type of upper lip breath filter, but I must reiterate that this trick, although, clever and plausible, does not work, and will likely do permanent damage to your upper lip follicles.
