UFC Mustache

It appears that UFC heavyweight Matt Mitrione has grown a mustache for his fight this Sunday against Christian Morecraft. The new mustache pretty much guarantees him a victory in the cage, so I am immediately heading to my local sports book and putting my life savings on his mustache to win.

Mike Beltran

I came across this epic specimen refereeing a mixed martial arts fight on Saturday night and instantly fell in love (holy man crush!). After doing a little research I found out that not only is Mike an MMA referee, and mustache enthusiast, but he is also the opera critic for the OC Register newspaper, and he comes from a long line of biker florists, where he is famous in the horticulture community for producing the finest Golden Pagoda flowers North America has ever seen.


UPDATE: Just found a pic of the 'stache in action, truly amazing.

Dan 'The Beast' Severn

All through out high school Dan had a steady girlfriend and a mustache, and the day before graduation Dan made the reckless move of shaving his upper lip. Once his girlfriend saw his bare lip she instantly broke it off. With his heart broken and depression setting in Dan decided to go on a spiritual journey where he ended up in Tibet living with Buddhist Monks learning the ancient martial art of Lama Pai. After several years with the monks Dan realized that religion is bull shit and the true path to salvation lies in a mustache. So Dan grew back his trusted nose neighbor and headed back to the states, where he started a career in mixed martial arts. Dan went 44-0 and eventually became the UFC heavyweight champion, before he gave that all up to do underground bare knuckle fighting, because "that UFC shit is for pussies."