Thursday, August 26, 2010

Dan 'The Beast' Severn

All through out high school Dan had a steady girlfriend and a mustache, and the day before graduation Dan made the reckless move of shaving his upper lip. Once his girlfriend saw his bare lip she instantly broke it off. With his heart broken and depression setting in Dan decided to go on a spiritual journey where he ended up in Tibet living with Buddhist Monks learning the ancient martial art of Lama Pai. After several years with the monks Dan realized that religion is bull shit and the true path to salvation lies in a mustache. So Dan grew back his trusted nose neighbor and headed back to the states, where he started a career in mixed martial arts. Dan went 44-0 and eventually became the UFC heavyweight champion, before he gave that all up to do underground bare knuckle fighting, because "that UFC shit is for pussies."

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