John Krautheim & The Turds of Misery were on the fast track to rock n roll stardom, opening up for Ted Nugent's 1973 world tour, and giving ladies of all shapes, sizes, colors, and religions international mustache rides. They were living the life a bare lipped man could only dream of, then suddenly after 37 straight hours in a Hungarian opium den, the stupid Turds let some overly eager female fans vandalize their upper lips with a razor. Within minutes of the upper lip offense Hungarian police kicked in the door of the opium den, and took the Turds directly to prison, where the have been held for over 38 years without so much as a single phone call to their loved ones.
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