Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Mustache Signs $28 Million Contract
Last season Texas Rangers pitcher Derek Holland's career was in a slump, starting the season 6-4 with a 5.10 ERA. To turn things around Derek tried several things like changing his warm up routine, not washing his not so lucky jock strap, and even giving up internet porn, but nothing could help Derek turn the corner out of his terrible slump, so as one last effort to save his career Derek decided to grow a tried and true lip rug. After setting his upper lip free from the tyranny of a razor, Derek finished the season 10-1 with a 2.77 ERA, and was awarded a $28 million contract yesterday because of it.