Thursday, August 19, 2010

Edward Newman


Eddie spent his formidable years in the West Oklahoma Juvenile Detention Center, for stealing a bunch of whiskey and crashing him grandmas car into his middle school during a PTA meeting. It was here that he grew his first mustache and quickly realized that it is pretty damn hard to get laid in jail (by a woman), so Eddie straightened up his act and got his GED. Upon his release Eddie and his nose neighbor enrolled in the architecture program at Wyoming State University. After graduation Eddie scored a multi-million dollar freelance job designing the Patronas Towers in Malaysia. After the project was complete Eddie took his money in cash to Peru and hasn't been heard from since 1998.

No comments:

Post a Comment