Thursday, August 19, 2010

Edward Newman

Eddie spent his formidable years in the West Oklahoma Juvenile Detention Center, for stealing a bunch of whiskey and crashing him grandmas car into his middle school during a PTA meeting. It was here that he grew his first mustache and quickly realized that it is pretty damn hard to get laid in jail (by a woman), so Eddie straightened up his act and got his GED. Upon his release Eddie and his nose neighbor enrolled in the architecture program at Wyoming State University. After graduation Eddie scored a multi-million dollar freelance job designing the Patronas Towers in Malaysia. After the project was complete Eddie took his money in cash to Peru and hasn't been heard from since 1998.

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