Crazy Cat Lady Loves Mustache Rides (and beef jerky)

So, there is a creepy eccentric old widow that lives at the end of my block, you know the type that puts out way too many decorations for every holiday, and has about 8 cats. Well, one day last week my brother in-law was over helping me trim my palm trees, when one of Mrs. Litterbox's cats fell down the storm drain on my street, without hesitation my brother's mustache jumped into action and retrieved the scared little kitten from it's underground prison. Cat lady was so thankful that she insisted she somehow pay my brother in-law back. After some coercion, she managed to get him insider her house, which he reported was stocked full of cat food and beef jerky, and smelled of week old cat shit. Once inside she told him she just couldn't resist a heroic mustache and threw herself at him. With a few moves that would make Kobe Bryant proud, he was able to make it out of cat hell unscathed, but now every time he drives by her house she points to her upper lip, and thrusts her pelvis vigorously, just to let him know that some day she will get that elusive mustache ride.