Billy Dee Williams

In the late 70's and early 80's things were going perfect for Billy, he had a glorious mustache, he was making Star-Wars films, selling malt liquor, and banging strippers daily (despite being married), that is until he started to hang-out with the wrong crowd, you know, those bare lipped types. Before he knew it Billy and his bare lip were divorced and in prison for giving Colt 45 to under age girls, where he now gets raw dogged in the shower every morning because "he's that bitch from Star-Wars."

Genghis Khan

Genghis Khan the first mustache in history to give over 200,000 women a mustache ride, but definitely not the last.

I just got back from Las Vegas on the vacation from hell. First on Saturday night my wife totally ditched me to hang all over some dude named Keith Jardine, who had just got done getting his ass kicked, I bet if he had a mustache he would have won by 1st round knock-out, then I woke up Sunday morning only to discover that my laptop, which contains every picture we have of our son's entire life, had been stolen. I have come to the conclusion that this string of bad luck only happened because I shaved my sacred upper lip, so from this day forward I am growing a sweet stache & chops combo, and I am also vowing to never return to Sin City.



Although most of you already know, yes, she is pregnant, and, no, not by Keith Jardine, it is mine, I think, and I love the way she is smiling in this picture, like Keith has something to be happy about, and I can't tell for sure, but from the way my wife's arm is angled it appears she is fondling Keith's butt.