Jeremy Lin

By now everyone on earth has heard about Linsanity, but not everyone knows the reason behind Jeremy Lin's success. It's not hard work, determination, or his ability to overcome stereotypes, no the real reason behind Linsanity is New York Knicks head coach Mike D'Antoni's mustache and his dedication to the upper lip movement. After all D'Antoni has been faithfully growing his nose neighbor since before the shot clock era.

Michael Cera

It appears actor Micheal Cera was caught Friday in Beverly Hills channeling his inner Clark Gable. When asked by the paparazzi about his new lip rug, Cera quipped, "I'm a famous Hollywood actor, I'm filthy rich, and I still can't seal the deal with the ladies, so I took the next logical step, and grew a mustache to get me some tail."

On This Day In Mustache History

On February 2nd, 1870 Mark Twain and Olivia Langdon were wed, and after courageously resisting a mustache ride for their entire 2 year courtship, Olivia was finally able to hop aboard Mark's masculine upper lip saddle, and she religiously rode his mustache everyday until her death in 1904.

Taylor Swift

Rejoice mustached men around the world, in a recent interview country/pop superstar Taylor Swift was quoted as saying, she is now only dating sophisticated men with upper lip umbrellas! After many failed relationships with lesser bare lipped fellows such as the racist musician John Mayer, she is now only seeking gentlemen with superior upper lips because in her own words she, "has come to realize that a mustache represents everything that is masculine and chivalrous." 

Clive Owen

Hollywood star Clive Owen has grown an impressive new lip sweater for his role in the movie "Killer Elite" co-starring Robert De Niro. Clive recently stated that his mustache is such a success with the ladies that he had to take self-defense classes to protect his upper lip from the daily molestation it gets from soccer moms and punk rock chicks.

Anthony Kiedis

Red Hot Chili Peppers front man Anthony Kiedis was recently spotted in West Hollywood sporting a brand new mustache. When asked about the new facial hair by reporters Kiedis responded by saying, "since growing this lip sweater I have never felt more masculine and confident, I have even taken up competitive arm wrestling, professional ax throwing, and Muay Thia kickboxing."

"I wear my heart on my upper lip." - Rip Taylor

Celebrity Mustache Fetish

Bong rips of Salvia, underage drinking, and a mustache fetish, Miley Cyrus is a special girl.

Another Mustache Sets Another Record

Last night the Philadelphia Eagles, led by head coach Andy Reid's mustache, set a record for most points scored in the first quarter by a road team in NFL history.
This mustache takes me back to a time when mustaches commanded respect and authority, when a mustache was always the hero who saved the day, and in the end always got the girl, or in this case got the dozen doughnuts, see even morbid obesity couldn't hold this mustache back from greatness.

Mustaches Make A Difference

Props to http://mosmakeadifference.com/

On a completely unrelated side note, I took my first stab at home made chicken fajitas last night, and I must say, I knocked it out of the park!

Billy Dee Williams

In the late 70's and early 80's things were going perfect for Billy, he had a glorious mustache, he was making Star-Wars films, selling malt liquor, and banging strippers daily (despite being married), that is until he started to hang-out with the wrong crowd, you know, those bare lipped types. Before he knew it Billy and his bare lip were divorced and in prison for giving Colt 45 to under age girls, where he now gets raw dogged in the shower every morning because "he's that bitch from Star-Wars."

Vulva Smashing Literary Mustache

John Steinbeck grew up in a California frontier town. Where his mustache spent the summers working local ranches, and his summer nights fucking farmer's daughters, before he caught a 20 gauge slug to his left kidney from an unhappy father, and was bed ridden for an entire summer. For therapeutic reasons he put pen to paper, and the rest is history.

Michael Irvin

Michael Irvin has put this mustache through years of neglect and punishment, but his faithful nose neighbor has never let him down. Irvin started the mistreatment back in 1996 with a cocaine possession arrest, then again later in 1996 with a sexual assault allegation. They headed back to jail in 1998 for battery and assault on former team mate Everrett McIver. Irvin and his mustache some how managed to stay out of the slammer until 2005, when he was busted for possession of a crack pipe, marijuana, and plastic bags, and finally Michael and his lip sweater were behind bars for the last time in 2007 with another sexual assault allegation that was settled out of court by Irvin for a supposed 6 figure pay-off. Despite all these set backs Irvin's mustache has managed to keep his marriage intact, got him into the NFL hall of fame, and got him a cozy on camera gig at the NFL Network.

Upon first glimpse of this mustache, President Obama felt the uncontrollable urge to massage this random guy's back. Although this looks strange and uncomfortable, it is quite common, and women do this to me every time I take my mustache out for a few pints.

Tupac Shakur

Most people know Tupac and his mustache dominated the 90's gansta rap scene, smoking Newport cigarettes, taking bullets, and spitting mad rhymes, but it is not so common knowledge that just days before Tupac was gunned down in Las Vegas he traded in his trademark mustache for the trendy goatee, and we all know how that worked out for him.

Bob Dylan

"My mustache isn't just facial hair, it's my lifestyle" - Bon Dylan

Vincent Price

Not only was Vincent famous for his roles in numerous horror films, but he was also a real life freak, who found pleasure in providing morbidly obese women with mustache rides. Vincent said he loved the flavor left behind in his mustache from the sweat of a fat roll. Due to his love for large women Vincent had at least 3 facial reconstructive surgeries during his lifetime. Doctors warned Vincent after his last surgery that they wouldn't be able to help him anymore because of the severe amount of facial scar tissue, and against doctors orders on October 25th 1993 Vincent's maxilla bones gave away one last time and his life was tragically cut short with a 400 pounder on his upper lip.

Vincent Price's nirvana.

Danny Trejo

You probably recognize Danny from such movies as Spy Kids, Bubble Boy, or as the bartender in Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy, but most people don't know that Danny's mustache was the lightweight and welterweight boxing champion of the California State Prison System while serving time at San Quentin, granting him the right to fuck any dude he wanted in the showers.

Carl Pavano

It looks like Minnesota Twin Carl Pavano has noticed how much ass teammate Joe Mauer has been pulling since growing a mustache, and decided he would get in on the action by growing his own nose neighbor. I just hope the land of 10,000 lakes has enough condoms and ointment to keep the two safe.

Joe Mauer

It appears as though not even an MVP trophy could help Minnesota Twins Joe Mauer get laid, so he had to take his game to the next level, and growing a mustache pretty much guarantees his right hand will be getting a much needed break.