The Flag Raising Photo

Did you know that the iconic World War II flag raising on Iwo Jima photo was taken by a mustache? Joe Rosenthal and his lip rug shot the historic image on February 23rd 1945, and when you think about it, it seems obvious that only a mustache would be capable of taking the legendary Pulitzer Prize winning photograph.

D-Day Mustache

It was on this day, June the 6th 1944, Private James O'Connor and his alpha mustache stormed the beaches of Normandy to kick the racist Nazi's right in their dick holes, and after Jim and his lip sweater conquered the German's soul's, they stood high atop Omaha Beach, knee deep in their enemy's blood, and proclaimed that "the mustache is greater than racism."

John Jacob Schmidt

This mustache paid for it's Princeton education by wrestling alligators at night, until he was drafted after Pearl Harbor. After the Normandy Invasion, he met a French model, and once the war ended they moved to Barbados together and opened up a snorkeling outfitter.

George H.W. Bush

The saddest story in mustache history is the mustache that H.W. couldn't grow. It marred his life by making him a manic depressive alcoholic, and robbed him of the place in history he should have had as a heroic World War II pilot.