Showing posts with label assault. Show all posts
Showing posts with label assault. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Clive Owen



Hollywood star Clive Owen has grown an impressive new lip sweater for his role in the movie "Killer Elite" co-starring Robert De Niro. Clive recently stated that his mustache is such a success with the ladies that he had to take self-defense classes to protect his upper lip from the daily molestation it gets from soccer moms and punk rock chicks.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Michael Irvin

Michael Irvin has put this mustache through years of neglect and punishment, but his faithful nose neighbor has never let him down. Irvin started the mistreatment back in 1996 with a cocaine possession arrest, then again later in 1996 with a sexual assault allegation. They headed back to jail in 1998 for battery and assault on former team mate Everrett McIver. Irvin and his mustache some how managed to stay out of the slammer until 2005, when he was busted for possession of a crack pipe, marijuana, and plastic bags, and finally Michael and his lip sweater were behind bars for the last time in 2007 with another sexual assault allegation that was settled out of court by Irvin for a supposed 6 figure pay-off. Despite all these set backs Irvin's mustache has managed to keep his marriage intact, got him into the NFL hall of fame, and got him a cozy on camera gig at the NFL Network.