Clive Owen

Hollywood star Clive Owen has grown an impressive new lip sweater for his role in the movie "Killer Elite" co-starring Robert De Niro. Clive recently stated that his mustache is such a success with the ladies that he had to take self-defense classes to protect his upper lip from the daily molestation it gets from soccer moms and punk rock chicks.

Super Bowl Mustache

My buddy Gary Cole, grew this amazing specimen to commemorate the Green bay Packers going to Super Bowl XLV. I just hope he got some pepper spray to go with that mustache, because every vagina on planet earth will be trying to ride this lip sweater.

Mustache Memories

The wife and I were cleaning out the spare bedroom closet last night to make room for the new baby coming in December, when I came across this picture stuffed in the bottom of a shoe box. This is from a fishing trip in Canada from 2005. I was on the banks of Lac Seul at The Golden Fawn Lodge hauling in a walleye with every cast, when jealousy got the better of this hungry bear, and he charged me, luckily I always keep a couple of ninja stars in my back pocket, and was able to throw one in the bears jugular vein before he could get his paws on my walleye, and that night my mustache and I enjoyed bear steak and fried walleye.

Mustache Bags World Record Elk

Denny Austad of Ammon, Idaho killed this monster elk last January with his bare hands. The story goes that Denny was camping in the Utah mountains with his grandchildren, when out of nowhere the elk charged their camp and tried to dry hump his 11 year old grandson. That's when Denny went into action hitting the enormous elk with a 5 punch combo before securing a rear naked choke, suffocating the animal to death, and pulling off an amazing feat that no bare lipped pussy could.