Rock God David Crosby has spent years creating some of the best classic rock with the Byrds and rock supergroup, Crosby Stills Nash. While his mustache and 'southern cross' are great compliments, some of Crosby's off-stage tribulations supplement his mustache best. In addition to standard drug-possession charges which inevitably follow rockers, Crosby spent 11 months in Texas prisons where his mustache was said to have been unwillingly exposed to an onslaught of convicts' rectums and ballbags. Adding to his criminal record were numerous offenses of drunk driving (one of which lead to a hit and run accident. the other a collision with a fence in a California suburb where officers found him in possession of -- you guessed it, a .45 caliber pistol and an ounce of tweed.)
As if his mustaches' criminal record werent enough to win him a reality show, Crosby also impregnated fellow Rock Goddess and lesbian, Melissa Etheridge, via artificial insemination. It was rumored that Melissa lobbied for his penis yet cooler heads prevailed and Crosby merely donated his sperm, and with it, superior mustache genetics.