Mustache Fact

Although is has been scientifically proven that a mustache will increase your bench press by 32%, and improve your chances with the opposite sex by 67%, a mustache cannot cure halitosis. I recently learned this truth the hard way on a 4 hour flight from Charlotte to Phoenix, and the gentlemen seated to my left was polite as can be, but suffered from chronic bad breath. I believe he was well aware of his condition and in an attempt to cure his condition, he grew a bushy mustache to act as a type of upper lip breath filter, but I must reiterate that this trick, although, clever and plausible, does not work, and will likely do permanent damage to your upper lip follicles.

Wayne Kelly

Wayne Kelly has been diligently growing his first mustache, and he sent me this photograph to document his journey. He said thus far the mustache lifestyle is working better than any male enhancement could, because he no longer gets mean mugged by other guys at the gym, and yesterday the lady behind the counter at his neighborhood Lebanese restaurant gave him an extra glass of arak absolutely free.

On This Day In Mustache History

On July, 25th 1984 Svetlana Savitskaya became the first woman to ever preform a space walk. She celebrated the historic feat by returning to the Mother Land, slamming a bottle of vodka, and riding the bushiest mustache in Siberia.

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday

Mickey Norris

Mickey wasn't always a confident man, if fact he had a lonely childhood constantly battling obesity, and video game addition with few friends to call his own, but that all changed on his eighteenth birthday at 'The Leopard Room' gentleman's club, during a fateful lap dance a stripper looked into his sorrowful eyes, suggested Mickey grow a mustache to help his self esteem, and the rest is history. Mickey is now at the forefront of the mustache lifestyle traveling the globe conducting seminars on progressive mustache grooming techniques at facial hair conventions.

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday... (on a Monday)

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday

Doug Quelland

Doug and his masculine lip rug played minor league baseball in Reno during the 70's, until he had a career ending hot tub injury, so he packed up his mustache wax and headed to Phoenix, and opened up a prosperous chain of Asian taco stands before throwing his hat into the political ring. With the support of his mustache on the campaign trail Doug easily won a seat in the Arizona state legislature, and had a very successful political career until he was ousted for clean elections violations.

Amazing Mustache fact

Only a mustache can fly through a desert monsoon at 80 miles per hour in a Jeep.

Happy 4th of July