Happy Holidays

It has been worn by great rulers, heroes, sports legends, hipsters, and most importantly cowboys who tamed the wild west, so this holiday season let's all celebrate the mustache as god's gift to the world.

Taylor Swift

Rejoice mustached men around the world, in a recent interview country/pop superstar Taylor Swift was quoted as saying, she is now only dating sophisticated men with upper lip umbrellas! After many failed relationships with lesser bare lipped fellows such as the racist musician John Mayer, she is now only seeking gentlemen with superior upper lips because in her own words she, "has come to realize that a mustache represents everything that is masculine and chivalrous." 

Baron Von Gaerhart

Baron was the bastard son of Father McCauley damned to a life void of a father figure, so at a young age he was forced to use his entrepreneurial skills selling snake oil to nervous customers outside the local whore house. Business was so good, by the age of 11, he had enough loot to open his own barber shop, where Baron and his impeccable grooming became pioneers in early mustache cleaning and brushing techniques.

Upper Lip Victory

Yesterday I received a phone call from my good friend and fellow mustache advocate Jeffery Jackson. Jeff was distraught and on the verge of a panic attack as he told me that he had stopped by our favorite North Mesa Walgreen's, only to find out that they were no longer stocking our preferred mustache wax, Pinaud-Clubman. Instantly I called said pharmacy, and after falsifying my name and exaggerating several instances of mustache discrimination, I am pleased to announce that Walgreen's not only said they would continue stocking Pinaud-Clubman mustache wax in my preferred neutral color, but they would also start stocking the wax in black, brown, and chestnut to avoid any future instances of upper lip discirmination.

Joe Frazier

This mustache beat Muhammad Ali in "The Fight of The Century," won an Olympic gold medal, and cut off his own toe with a lawn mower.

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday... On a Monday

Coat Of Arms For Your Face

"A well maintained  mustache is a symbol of a modern gentlemen. Like a coat of arms for his face, a mustache instantly places the man in the International Society of Modern Gentlemen. A man who sports a mustache knows what it means, and he knows the responsibility it holds. What's more, he knows what it feels like to have that little something extra, that special touch for when life calls for it, but mostly, a man who grows a mustache knows what it's like to have his very own piece if luxury, something every man deserves."  - The Prestigious & Essential Pocket Guide to MOvember.

Hot Chicks In Mustaches Friday

Harold Snepsts

Harold may not look like a professional caliber athlete, but his mustache was an NHL mainstay for 17 years. He instantly became a fan favorite when he was drafted by the Vancouver Canucks in 1974, because of his blue-collar defensive play and his mustache's like able personality. Then in 1991 Harold's lifelong propensity for strong booze and Asian women got the best of him when he quit playing hockey, packed up his moonshine still, and took off for the small Indonesian island of Lombok, and has never been heard from since. 

Stan Davis

Stan spent the late 70's dominating the Southern Indiana Semi-Professional Bowling League, while his lip rug cleaned up on all the slutty single mother types that hang around bowling alley's. Life was good, Stan had a double wide trailer with custom green shag carpet, and a Jeep Wrangler, that ran most of the time, but in 1982 Stan gave all that up to pursue his true passion of converting new Bolivian immigrants to atheism.