Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Ole' Keith

If it werent already obvious: Keith Hernandez is a bad ass. The harolded NY Met had an incredible career as a first-baseman, Just for Men co-endorser, and mustache lobbyist. Keith's political career is lesser know but to those who knew him best, it was his life. His revolutionary approach to fight mustache discrimination was often considered blunt and abrasive by his adversaries. It had been rumored that Keith assaulted teammates Lennie Dykstra and Daryl strawberry during a dugout altercation after the two had slandered his mustache.

"Playboy." "Drunk." "Womanizer." "Cokhead." "Jerry Seinfeld's boyfriend." These words and more have been used to describe Keith Hernandez by his adversaries through a life-long, mudslinging campaign designed to defile Keith's mustache and the mad-tail it regularly pulled.

What makes Keith Hernandez great? Was it his ability to hit a 2-2 sliders? His uncanny glovesmanship which lead to becoming an 11 time gold glove winner? World Championship rings? Nah. Neither. It was his passion for crack cocaine and his renegade duster which (to this day) is commonly mistaken for a saddle by millions of women in Queens.

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