Today in the small Southwestern Afghanistan village of Kamal Khan, a Taliban stronghold, local men banded together and stood up to the radical group over their right to exhibit masculine lip sweaters. The Taliban took control of the tiny village about 3 months ago, when coalition troops pushed the extreme faction out of their previous safe haven to the north. One of the first rules implemented when they seized control of the small community, was that the men could not shave, since Muhammad did not shave, and all men must grow a beard. Little did the Taliban know that the men of Kamal Khan have a long history of having some of the most strapping mustaches in all of the middle east, and they hold that label close to their hearts. As soon as the local men heard of the new rule they started meeting at night in secret to brainstorm for ideas on how to get rid of their oppressors, so they could resume their rich heritage of growing long beautifully groomed mustaches. Well, today is the day that their plan finally came to fruition with the help of small arms from neighboring communities smuggled into the village under the cover of night and a burning desire. I am glad to report that the fundamental group is out of Kamal Khan and the local male demographic is once again proudly flaunting their upper lip freedom.